"Real" Rockstars Won't Date Me Because...

I'm not a beautiful waif who has graced the covers of Victoria's Secret, Glamour, Vanity Fair, or Playboy. I do not come from rock 'n roll royalty, nor am I a petite Asian chick who is looking to fill the role in your M. Butterfly fantasy.
I am not content to sit back and manage your domestic responsibilities (i.e. paying your rent and walking your dogs) while living vicariously through your epic journey of sexual exploits and drunken deviance. I have my own dreams, ambitions and goals; I am on my own path of self discovery and destruction.
I can see through your rugged exterior right down to the insecure and awkward boy who is overcompensating for the fact that he couldn't get laid in high school. Underneath all your tattoos and your strategically disheveled appearance lies a little boy who is screaming out for someone to worship him and equating that with love.
No matter how talented and attractive you may be, you will never impress me enough or make me jealous enough to satisfy your sick need for external validation.
I am way too badass for you: I've been in way more bar fights than you, made out with more chicks than you, I have better stories to tell, and let's face it, I can kick your sorry fucking ass!
It wasn't your musical ability that attracted me to you. It was your dark and mysterious eyes, but then I realized there was nothing at all behind them.

And maybe some faith would do me good

Baby, lay your head on my lap one more time
Tell me you belong to me
Baby say that it's all going to be alright
I believe that it isn't

Ahh... Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (A.K.A. Fiona Apple)

I Always Knew I Deserved Better, But Now I'm Finally Starting To Believe It

When I was a kid I had this record that I'd play over and over again. No, NOT the soundtrack to Flash Dance, although that was amazing and my sister and I would play that one repeatedly as well. (What can I say, we're nerds.) It was Abbey Road by the Beatles and my favorite song on that Album was "Here Comes the Sun". My dad would sing that song a lot and it was comforting. One day I went to play the record only to discover that it was scratched. The record was ruined and the song would never be the same for me again, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to actually get rid of it. Every once in a while I would hold my breath and take the record off the shelf and attempt to play it, hoping that the scratch would have some how disappeared. The scratch was always still there, and I was always disappointed. Why didn't I just get rid of it and buy a new one? I guess I never threw it away because it had sentimental value. It held such promise and the idea of it actually working gave me hope, but ultimately it let me down. I haven't thrown it away, I don't think I ever could, but I am done trying to play it. I've moved on. I'm not counting on the failed promises of that old broken record.